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Everything will Change
  • Added by : Pete Hopkins
  • Category : Blog
  • Tags : rock, music, blog, history, life concert, band

THE CONDITION OF CONDITIONING (What makes us who we are)

Why is it that when we ask ourselves who we are, we look to a myriad of outside sources to give us the answer? What is the reasoning behind our need to seek out another's approval and even permission for us to be who we want to be?

We look to our clothes to define us. We look for outside opinions to validate our own lives. We look to pop culture to tell us what to like and why it's important that we do so... Should someone else conceding to agree with me make my beliefs any stronger or weaker? Well it shouldn't... but it most definitely does.

I'd love to say "No! I'm not like that at all!" "I am an individual I'm an original" but... that would be questionable.. and here is why... There is a fine line between being an original and being a freak.. and it's one that I'm painfully aware of.

I would like to say that I'm above the influence of outside opinion... that I walk to the beat of my own drum and other such clever cliches created to make us feel like being different is a plus! Yeah... I'd like to say that. I can say that... however the words and the actions are not always congruent.

The fact of the matter is... I know I am different and I do a whole bunch of things to make sure that my differences aren't too apparent.. so that I'm just unusual enough to be accepted but considered still to be "Pete Hopkins" he's cool like me.. and her... and him...and them.. and the all mighty "US" that's not U.S. mind you... i mean "the us" the hivemind. The collective created within (and without) ourselves that deems something to be cool... or not...

Physically I was born different... perhaps this gives me a little more freedom to embrace the fact that I'm not like everyone else.

I spend a lot of time in my own head. I'm an only child... The company inside here is vastly entertaining, lemme tell ya...

Do you know that originally this blog entry was going to be about what music influenced me the most? It was... then I looked at my CD's.. (that's a thing that people purchased before all music in the world was available for free via the internet, kids) I drew a paralell between the question how can I choose what CD's (Ive got about 500) are most responsible for making me the musician I am...and the larger question... How do you choose in life the things that most make you who you are... and the sub-question... are we even aware when these things happen? sub-sub-question... if we are aware...then what choices does that push us towards? And if we aren't... how exactly are we to recognize whether we are standing on the threshold of greatness or about to fall into chaos and mayhem? They can look quite similar on the surface. and away we go...

This has been a glimpse into my delirium... It's like this... all the time in here. One could say I worry too much... One could say I think too much... Creating music gives me a focus that I am otherwise lost to and often voluntarily escaping from.. at least i think so... it sounds accurate for the moment.

So if I can get my focus together enough to do so... I do have a plan to show you (whomever may be reading this) the music that in part... probably.. possibly.. perhaps.. might have.. made me... make my music... the way that I do. I may talk about the genesis and discovery and so on. Stay tuned...

Be advised... there will be philisophical tangents and musings at every turn... cause this headshow is on the air 24/7



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